So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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