Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
