Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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