i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
