I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
