# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
