No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
