there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
