sarcasm needs its own font
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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