I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
