Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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