just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Randomize
