Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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