my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Randomize
