I think i peed on brittanys purse
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
honey bunches of taint.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
