Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Randomize
