I'm drive I can fine osifer
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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