i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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