Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
