Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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