i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
