hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
