scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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