maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
