problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
