hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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