Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
