Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
