I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
