tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
