I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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