yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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