Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
