dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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