Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
