Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
