I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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