I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
