He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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