went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
