My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It was like getting head from an anaconda
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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