why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
