ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I met the friendliest cop last night
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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