you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
