It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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