Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
