wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
