I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
