i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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