one word: firstdatebathroomanal
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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