I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
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