Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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