So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
