I want to walk on stilts...naked
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
